


Jet Black Heart

by shamelessbieber



Series: Mickey's Feelings [9]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Based on a 5 Seconds of Summer Song, M/M, based of off 5sos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 23:18:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8346721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamelessbieber/pseuds/shamelessbieber
Summary: Mickey loves Ian but has a hard time showing it.





	

_Everybody’s got their demons_  
Even wide awake or dreaming  
I’m the one who ends up leaving  
Make it okay

Every time Ian and Mickey got in an argument, Mickey knew he was wrong most of the time. Instead of arguing, he'd leave and appear the next day or even two days later and Ian hated it. Mickey didn't know how to use his words. Currently, they're arguing over the fact that Mickey leaves without an explanation all the time and Ian just wants to know where he is ... just to know he's safe. "Ian, I'm not perfect. Fuck, I'm not even good enough for you. All I do is put you through heartbreak and you always fucking stay, a-"

Mickey sighs, looking at the door. Ian grabs his wrist, "No, Mickey, you're not fucking leaving. Talk to me, for Christ Sake. This your problem, you don't use your words. You leave and it's fucking irritating, just talk to me."

Ian puts his hands on Mickey's cheeks, staring into his blue eyes. He could tell Mickey was frustrated, but he didn't care. He didn't want his boyfriend walking away from him again. "Please talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about. Everything you're saying is right and even if I do listen to you, I'm going to fuck up again."

"Why do you keep doubting yourself, Mick?"

Mickey doesn't reply, he leaves. But he didn't go anywhere, he just went on the porch to collect his jumbled thoughts and it only resulted in hearing something crash inside the house. He felt so bad, but he couldn't do it. Not right now.

_See a war I wanna fight it_  
_See a match I wanna strike it_  
_Every fire I’ve ignited_  
_Faded to grey_

 

Mickey realized how everything good in his life turns to shit or they just disappear. He came back in the house that night to see Ian laying on his bed, tear stains on his cheeks, wide awake. He didn't speak to Mickey but they laid in the same bed and cuddled as if they weren't just arguing. A few days later, they were still giving each other the silent treatment ... well Ian giving Mickey the silent treatment. "Ian?" Mickey's voice came off innocent and soft which made Ian turn his head quickly. "I'm sorry."

Ian watches as Mickey sits down next to him on the couch. Mickey puts his hand on Ian's thigh, continuing to speak. "If you haven't noticed, I like to keep a well up. A wall that you fucking broke down and I'm having a hard time still keeping it-"

"I'm your boyfriend, Mick. Why can't you just leave it down and let me in? Just talk to me." Ian's eyes showed that he cared and it made Mickey nervous.

"Everything good in my life goes to fucking shit, Ian. Mandy was the only sibling that fucking cared, that understood me and she left. She left because I didn't ask her to stay, tell her that I'd protect her." Mickey explains, not daring to make eye contact with Ian. "My mom left us. If my mom was still here, Terry wouldn't be this fucking way and we could easily be together in public, we wouldn't have to hide out like this. I'm scared, Ian, of losing you. If I lose you, I'll lose all fucking hope in anything good for me and it's already happening because I-"

Ian wraps his arms around Mickey, shaking his head. Mickey guessed that meant _shut up and hug me back_ so he did. They lay on the couch, holding each other with no words spoken. "I never even told her I'm gay, or that we're together." Mickey mumbles. "I miss Mandy."

"I have a feeling she left because of the shit she's been through. I don't think she wants to come back to this mess, Mick. Look at us. We were happy but it won't last." Ian looks up at him. "We could leave the Southside too."

Mickey chuckles, "That's a big fucking step, man. I didn't even come out yet-"

"I'm not saying right now, but whenever you're ready." Ian kisses his temple. "But we could go find Mandy and tell her. But I still think she won't come back."

"As long as I can talk to her. Pretty sure she changed her number."

_'Cause I’ve got a jet black heart_  
_And there’s a hurricane underneath it_  
_Trying to keep us apart_  
_I write with a poison pen_  
_But these chemicals moving between us_  
_Are the reason to start again_

After that great night of them cuddling and talking, it all spiraled after that. Ian told Fiona about Mickey only because Fiona was prying and trying to find out why Ian was having so many mood changes that had nothing to do with his disorder. Mickey freaked out but didn't show Ian that. He was having an internal war with himself. One part of him was saying  _Terry's in jail, just tell the Gallagher family you're gay and be fucking happy_ but the other half was saying  _Even with Fiona knowing is a possibility of Terry finding out and you need to get as far away as possible._

"Are you mad at me?" Ian asks softly, not wanting to make Mickey mad or even sad. When Mickey didn't answer, Ian stood up and sighed. "Here we go again."

"Ian, shut the fuck up. I'm thinking." Mickey says, grabbing his hand. "Don't leave, I just ... Don't know how to react. My own sister doesn't even know I'm gay. Your family fucking hates me, I know they think I'm not right for you. Especially Fiona and Lip."

"They're my older siblings, they're gonna be overprotective. And Carl fucking loves you because of how thug you are. Debbie's a fifty fifty, who knows what the fuck teenage girls are thinking." Ian says, trying to lighten the mood but he could tell Mickey was still frustrated, confused, and trying to figure out what the fuck to do or say. "Mickey, if this is going to keep happening-"

"No, Ian, don't say it." Mickey quickly looks up at Ian. "Don't break up with me ... I just need time. You can tell your family but I won't face them until I'm ready."

Ian was shocked. Mickey had several tears on his cheeks as he spoke, he was shocked Mickey thought he was breaking up with him. "Mick, I wasn't breaking up with you. Fuck, I know how you think. I know you're arguing with yourself on how to handle this and you don't have to go through anything alone. Talk to me, please. I was going to say if this is going to keep happening, you have to fucking talk to me, use your words instead of shutting me out."

Mickey nods, pressing his lips sloppily to Ian's. When they pull away, they hold each other just like before.

 _But now that I’m broken_  
And now that you know it  
Caught up in a moment  
Can you see inside?

Ian told the Gallagher and Fisher family that he's gay and currently dating Mickey Milkovich. Lip already knew, but Mickey didn't know that. He knew Fiona knew, so it was just announced to Carl, Debbie, Kev, and Vee. Debbie hugged Ian tightly and told him that she doesn't care who he dates and to tell Mickey that we accept him. But they all knew Mickey wouldn't come around for a while, he was never around to begin with. They only time they saw him with Ian is when he went to the mental hospital and he told them he was there for Mandy. But before Ian went in, Mickey hugged him like he was losing him forever. They pulled away just in time so the Gallagher's didn't see. 

"So that's why he was so quiet when we were leaving the hospital." Fiona says. "I honestly believed he was there for Mandy."

Ian nods. "He's also the reason I started taking my meds. And the reason I came back home after I went AWOL."

"Mickey is like a fucking guardian angel." Vee spoke. "Why isn't he here with you?"

"He didn't care if I told you all or not but he said he's not ready to face anyone. He thinks you all don't think he's right for me." Ian explains, looking at their faces. 

Carl stands up, "I don't care who you date but I'm glad it's a Milkovich."

"He's not gonna give you a gun, Carl." Ian chuckles, watching him walk away. Debbie joins him, seeing that the conversation is going elsewhere and she doesn't really care, just as long as Ian's happy. When the two disappeared, Liam still there but not paying attention, Lip spoke.

"He's Mickey Milkovich, he's not perfect. But if he did get you to take your meds and got you home, he's okay." Lip speaks. "I'll never like him because Mickey and I never liked each other but you know what I mean."

"Me too." Fiona chuckles. "Try to get Mickey to come over, at least for a Gallagher party?"

"I'll try."

That next day, Mickey listened to everything Ian told him. How the Gallagher's reacted, how Kev and Vee weren't even surprised. When Mickey heard it, he was ready. Ready to see them or join their Gallagher party which they planned tonight. Mickey and Ian stayed in bed all day until it was time to go to the party. Mickey dressed the same as he usually did, just made sure he wasn't dirty.

When they arrived, Ian noticed the hesitation from Mickey. "Come on, Mick. It's just my family, not like they have any room to judge."

As soon as they walked in, everyone was around drinking and laughing, listening to music. Mickey took his jacket off, and sighed. Lip walks toward them and hands him a beer before sitting down. He just smiles in reply, Ian grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the couch. "Hey, Mickey." Debbie smiles at Mickey, and Mickey smiles back.

"Hey."

All of a sudden, Carl yells from the kitchen "Is Mickey here yet?"

Ian tells Mickey to go see what he wants and Mickey was hesitant but he does. When he walks in, Carl grins. "So, now that you're technically my brother in law, I-" 

"You're not getting any weapons from me, Carl." Mickey bites his lip, laughing. "You sister would kill me."

"You have a lot of weapons, she couldn't even get close enough to kill you." Carl slyly grins. "Will you at least teach me how to shoot a gun?"

Mickey shakes his head, "You're an odd kid, but yes. I will. Tomorrow?"

"Yes!" Carl exclaims loudly, continuing to eat. Mickey turns to the living room to see Ian grinning at him widely.

Mickey's opening up, not just to Ian but to the rest of his family and he couldn't be happier. Or prouder of himself.

 _Let’s forget who we are_  
And dive into the dark  
As we burst into color  
Returning to life

Mickey finally got a hold of Mandy. She actually called him, facetimed him actually. She has blonde hair, and looks happier than ever. "What's up? What's new in your life?" Mandy questioned, after explaining why she left and why she changed her number. "You look happy. Is Terry gone?"

Ian sat next to Mickey, his face coming up on the screen which made Mandy skeptical of the situation. "What's happening?"

"Mands, I'm gay." Mickey easily admits. "And Ian and I have been dating ever since..."

"We never officially asked one another be boyfriends." Ian looks at Mickey. "I'd say we made it somewhat official during your wedding."

"You two became boyfriends the day Mickey got married to his baby's mom?" Mandy questions. "What the fuck, why didn't you tell me earlier? That's why you kept asking about Ian when he went MIA?"

Mickey nods, Mandy chuckling. "How long were you two together before that?"

"We started as fuck buddies when Ian came to get that gun off of me for Kash." Mickey explains, staring at Mandy's face on the phone. "A lot has happened since then. Either you visit us or we visit you. Where are you?"

"New York." Mandy smiles. "Left Kenyatta. Pretty sure he's still looking for me but New York is big. You know, you two seem happy, but Terry won't be in jail forever. And he won't accept you. Why don't you just leave? The Gallagher's could last without Ian."

"That thought has already crossed my mind. Just waiting for Mickey to agree." Ian laughs, pressing his nose to Mickey's cheek. "Whenever you're ready."

"I know." Mickey sighs, turning to face Ian. "We can talk later."

"Yeah, please. As cute as you two are, I don't enjoy watching my best friend and brother be lovey dovey."

"I could've said the same when you were with Lip." Ian retorts. 

They talked for hours until Mandy had to go to her job. When they hung up, Mickey turns to Ian and kisses him hard. 

"What was that for?" Ian chuckles.

"I love you." Mickey admits, catching Ian by surprise. "I want to leave Chicago. Whenever and to wherever."

"Fuck, I love you too. Let's pack and just leave. I have money hidden." Ian replies, eyes just as big as his smile. Mickey chuckles.

"I have a lot of money hidden. But before we leave, I wanna visit Yevgeny." Mickey replies. 

So that's what they did. Left their past behind them and left, making a new life in a different state which happened to be Pennsylvania. It was either Philadelphia or Pittsburgh and they chose Pittsburgh, and they fell in love. They also got married there, only after being there for a month. Mandy visited more than expected since they weren't that far and the three couldn't be any happier. Mickey didn't know if he could _ever_ be happy and turns out he could. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was really rushed, im sorry!


End file.
